There are a lot of decisions to make when planning your wedding, but this is one that tends to feel surprisingly emotional: Should you see each other before the ceremony?


As a wedding photographer, I’ve experienced both timelines many times, and here’s the truth: There’s no right answer—only what aligns best with how you want your day to feel. Let’s walk through the real pros and cons of doing a first look, beyond just what you see on Pinterest.


What Is a First Look?

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where you and your partner see each other for the first time—usually captured by your photographer from a distance.

It’s intentional, quiet, and often one of the only moments you’ll have alone together all day.


The Pros of Doing a First Look


1. It calms your nerves instantly

  • Wedding mornings can feel like a buildup of anticipation.
  • The moment you see your person, everything tends to settle.
  • Your energy shifts from anxious → grounded.

And that changes the tone of your entire day.


2. You get a private, emotional moment together

The ceremony is beautiful—but it’s also public.

A first look gives you space to:

  • React naturally
  • Hug, laugh, cry (or all three)
  • Actually talk to each other

It becomes less about performing, and more about experiencing.


3. Your timeline becomes significantly more relaxed

This is one of the biggest logistical advantages.

With a first look, you can:

  • Take most of your portraits before the ceremony
  • Knock out wedding party photos early
  • Enjoy more of cocktail hour

Instead of feeling rushed after the ceremony, everything flows more smoothly.


4. You’ll likely get more variety in your photos

Because you’re not racing against sunset or guests waiting, there’s more flexibility.

That means:

  • More creative portraits
  • More time for candid moments
  • Less pressure overall

And it shows in the final gallery.


5. You actually spend more of your wedding day together

Without a first look, you might not really connect until the ceremony—and then the day flies.

A first look gives you more time side by side, which is something couples often say they’re grateful for later.


The Cons of Doing a First Look


1. You lose the traditional aisle moment (slightly)

Let’s be honest—there’s something undeniably powerful about that first glance down the aisle. While that moment is still emotional even with a first look, it can feel a bit less “build-up heavy.” If you’ve always dreamed of that exact moment, this is worth considering.


2. You have to be ready earlier in the day

Doing a first look means shifting your timeline forward. Hair, makeup, getting dressed - it all happens earlier. For some couples, that’s totally fine. For others, it can feel like an early start to an already big day.


3. It can feel less “traditional”

If tradition is important to you (or your family), a first look might feel like a departure from that. That said, weddings today are so personalized that this is becoming less of a concern for most couples.


4. Not everyone wants a private moment—they want the aisle reaction

Some couples love the idea of that shared, public emotion. The music, the anticipation, everyone watching - it can feel cinematic in the best way. If that’s what you’re drawn to, you don’t need to replace it.


A Perspective You Might Not Hear Often

This decision isn’t really about photos. It’s about how you want your wedding day to feel.


Do you want:

A slow, grounded start where you connect early?

→ First look might be perfect

Or:

A build-up of anticipation leading to one big moment?

→ Waiting for the aisle might feel more meaningful

Both are valid. Both are beautiful.


A Middle Option (that I love suggesting)

If you’re torn, consider a “first touch” instead.

You don’t see each other, but you:

  • Hold hands around a corner
  • Exchange letters
  • Talk for a moment

You still get that emotional grounding without giving up the aisle reveal.


Final Thoughts

Your wedding day isn’t about following a rule. It’s about creating an experience that feels like you. I’ve seen incredibly emotional first looks. I’ve seen unforgettable aisle reactions.


What matters most is choosing the version of the day that allows you to be the most present, the most connected, and the most yourself.


If you’re planning a wedding in Arizona (or anywhere you’re taking me 😉), I’m always happy to help build a timeline that supports whatever you choose—while making sure it feels effortless from start to finish.